Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Down

The phone rang,right on cue with my toddler's "waaaaaa"ing for some more juice.

Deep breath. Check number. Pick up.

"hello?"

"Hi Heidi this is Dr. Nephrologist. Your mag is still low at 1.1 and there's something not right going on..how much mag are you getting?"

"4 grams a week."

"I'm concerned you may have a malabsorption problem..you need to see your primary and a gastroenterologist,are you cramping?"

"All the time."

"And I think you will need a port,because your veins are probably giving up by now."

"Yes,"(fighting back the urge to bawl)..

"The pancreas is responsible for an endocrine function and an exocrine function and I think there may be something going on there..you need a full gastro work up. Are you having diarrhea?"

"Sporadically..once every few days."

"I think the malobsorption may be the cause of your electrolyte problems..also try soaking in Epsom salts,your kidneys can handle it. It will dry the skin out though."

"I know you don't want a port but I think you'll need one,this needs to be figured out. We will continue to check mag levels and talk again later."

Scared.


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Thursday, April 10, 2014

Stuck




Unless things really improve with my mag levels in the next 2 weeks, I'm going to have to get a port.(in my upper arm or chest) All my arm/hand veins are completely shot. Ports scare the bejabbers out of me,& I refuse to have one done. But magnesium has to get in somehow. I'm trying to supplement with fast-acting magnesium liquid,& I 'm going to talk to my doc about Epsom Salt soaks(that is a very iffy method of upping levels though and my doc said he once knew someone who did it so much she put herself in a high magnesium coma that led to death). My mag levels are being drawn weekly.(and they are staying stable-low end with weekly infusions) I have to do something drastic,and it has to be hardcore or my levels will not go up and I'll have no choice but to get a port. Ports scare me because of the risk of blood clots/you have to take Coumadin/and your entire life revolves around the darn thing not getting infected and it can never come out,not at the rate I'm going and I'm afraid I'll need it forever. I'm fairly certain I'd need an anti-anxiety medication just for everyday functioning on the thing,not that I don't need one now but at least there's not something sticking out of my chest. I am willing to take magnesium,lots of magnesium,even if it makes me sick as a dog,to stabilize things. I just wish that they would stabilize because these veins need a break.I'm trying to take things a day at a time, tracking my levels and to be grateful for each day but it's not really working when my veins are responding by giving up the ghost..I got stuck 4 times today for an IV. Things really need to get better,soon.

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Tuesday, April 01, 2014

The 31 Days of Blood Sugar Control




(28,29,30...as the case may be.Warning:the below post is about women stuff!!)

If you don't have diabetes, or much of a relationship with a PWD..you are probably laboring under the assumption that blood sugar control is easy. You are either "in" or "out." (Think Top Chef) This is an assumption that has permeated every inch of society, to the point where even educating those willing to learn TAKES YEARS for them to get.(Namely,that blood sugars are a living,fluid thing...not at all static and stuck on "104")

- you go low in the grocery store,a kind soul hands you a sugary drink..and assumes you are fragile,etc.

-you eat a brownie,spend the afternoon shoveling snow, drop to 42 and your relative just cannot understand why (or they get the idea that because you ate a bad food, THAT is why you had the low).

Head smack. I'm sure you get the idea. I have been thinking though,that for a women with t1 diabetes, control is a River in Egypt.(much like the Nile) Why is this, you may ask? Well,much of it has to do with that monthly inconvenience (or lack thereof) which means in addition to the meds/exercise/other illness/food/no sleep/etc. normal ness of life,you get to deal with some pretty potent hormones which (in a normal cycle) drop to "normal" on Day 1, go flat-lining along merrily to the middle of the month and then skyrocket for the later part of the month (as do the insulin needs.) That's how it is for many women,anyway. (Others will drop their bgs.)If you get pregnant,that progesterone kicks in like a son of a gun and you can expect to see more high blood sugars along with your Endocrinologist going a bit/lot psycho.(later,the drop comes) I think that's why I will never not have highs (and lows)..you can live a lifetime with diabetes and not figure it out. (I have a very non-predictable life.)It's not entirely bad though, estrogen protects against heart attacks and the like.(however much diabetes is messing with that) Life is pretty tough for a woman with diabetes(DON'T YOU DARE GET PREGNANT OR I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF) along with the daily highs and lows. Options exist to smooth out those hormones, but that comes with the potential side effects of strokes/heart attacks and the like but in the eyes of the Endo,still better then pregnancy. It almost makes a person want to have a voluntary hysterectomy. And I guess it is better to have those options not to get pregnant, but one has to wonder what 30 years of diabetes plus pill taking is going to wrack on the circulatory system. But for a women with T1, still easier then going through multiple pregnancies.
One's body is just not ones own..

and then you are violently thrown to the Diabetes Police,masquerading as Health Care Providers, the supposed experts...who have no clue what you are talking about/doing..you've just got to realize that you are not a textbook,they do not have Crystal Balls and the future is an open book. But yes, it gets scary, because you think they are talking about you. Long story short,blood sugar control is rarely "easy"...you are thinking 1,000 things to stabilize one deficient hormone.

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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The Permanence of Performance

They don't know
that the pain I feel
Is not from IV tracks
Up and down my arms
A disease unleashed
Monsters knocking down my body
Making me fear the future
I only hope that I can die from diabetes in 30 years
And not from plummeting magnesium levels.
"What does this do
And this?!?"
Uncharted waters
Not easily measured
I trust my doctor
But I don't trust my body.
There is no roadmap
No blueprint
It is not diabetes,and Your Disease May Vary.
Will it get better
Will it stabilize
Can I go to sleep without worrying
Can my toddler know his mommy for a good long while
Will my husband still have a wife
Can I function
Will it eat up all the money
Will my veins hold up
Will I be living at the hospital
When can things be normal?
"You look so normal!"
(This is politeness
because)
I have two chronic diseases
There will never be normal.
Juggling must be automatic
It's what you do
There is no choice.
But I just want one problem,
Not 1,000,001.
My friend died from her disease
When she'd barely begun to live.
There wasn't another person on this earth who had both T1 and Bartters.
And there maybe will never be.
Alone with an unpredictable disease
Searching for some answers.


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Monday, March 24, 2014

And the Winner is..





Alexis Nicole! Congrats and I'll contact you through FB!

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Thursday, March 20, 2014

Diabetic Dabs & More! Giveaway

I'm very excited to be holding The D-Log Cabin's very first diabetes giveaway..fueled in part by Elizabeth Sacco of Diabetic Dabs who offered a sample of their product to myself,and a blog reader. She's a mom to 4,and D-mom to one.(her son was dx'd in 2011 )






It comes in 4 packs of 50 sheets each. Each sheet is highly absorbent,and can be ripped off and discarded although I use them for as many blood blots as I can. Easily fits inside my meter case although it would be a bit bulky for your standard ugly black case. Each box is available on her website for $9.49 plus s&h. After reviewing this product, I feel like I'd have wanted to buy this anyway..it's not just like blotting your finger on some old paper napkin floating around. It's soft,blood wicks up quickly,and it's portable and convenient. And today, you'll get a chance to win a box....








Along with two boxes of Level Life Bars: (a good low carb snack)








A cupcake picture frame & $5 Radio Shack gift card:








A GoPicnic Meal:






And a blue organizer bag to put D-stuff in(or whatever...I just love organizer stuff).







To enter, just leave a comment. Winner will be drawn Sunday night.( 3/23) (also,it must be apparent that you in the D world..either yourself or a loved one has diabetes)




(The whole shebang of goodies)

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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

March Madness (part 2)

Day 13:

Slowly but surely, I think I'm getting better from this flu crud.(Yes, it was Influenza A..major good diagnosing skillz, Dr. Hyphenated Last Name of the Cardiology persuasion)
The fevers and sweats of last week have subsided, the cough is nearly gone and it's just the exhaustion that's left now. Rubber legs,that's me. I suppose it's all very normal but I don't recall having ever been this wiped out from the flu before. I had a follow up with my primary today(the office, as my real primary is off on maternity leave for the 2nd time in 22 months!) & they took some more blood to check my electrolyte levels. Tomorrow, I follow up with cardiology(repeat echocardiogram). In the meantime, I rescheduled my Endo appt to April..that was just not happening anytime soon. It's really done quite the number on my bgs, although I'm grateful that my meter average has come down to the lower 200's from the upper 300's, this stuff is brutal. My a1c was in the 8's. And I know that that number should be just a number but I know that I can do better,should do better, heck I've got all the tools of 21st century medicine and this is what I produce? I think a big part of that is A. My fear of lows and B. My lack of accountability so I am going to look at ways to address both of those issues. Regarding my fear of lows, I am going to choose a ranging (to target) that is far,far away from the danger zone..yet moving towards a better place. And I'm making an agreement with some T1 friends to chart my bgs(etc.) more. I'm going to use the MySugr app,it's really pretty awesome (I just have to wrestle the phone away from the toddler..) It just seems like when I get sick, upping my basal rates has zero effect, my basals are so low anyway.(doubling a 0.2 or an 0.3 is not going to do anything to lower that glucose-dumping liver of yours) I feel that I should do something,because that's the first thing everyone says to do when you are sick but I think my primary problem comes with meals..how much of a modified I:C ratio I should do. It's wild. I am really not sure why I bothered getting a flu shot this year..the flu still found me. I'm glad that it's the only respiratory thing I've had this winter,and even gladder that neither my hubby or child got it.(apparently it's just me with the screwed up immune system)



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